$REALMATT | POTUS OF THE PUMP

🚨 ETHAN KLEIN LEAKED THE KEYS 🚨 MATT IS THE NEW PRESIDENT 🇺🇸 SECRET SERVICE IS BUYING THE DIP 📉 "I WOULD HAVE DRESSED DIFFERENTLY" 🧢 JEETS WILL BE DEPORTED ✈️ 🚨 ETHAN KLEIN LEAKED THE KEYS 🚨 MATT IS THE NEW PRESIDENT 🇺🇸 SECRET SERVICE IS BUYING THE DIP 📉 "I WOULD HAVE DRESSED DIFFERENTLY" 🧢 JEETS WILL BE DEPORTED ✈️

HACKED

H3H3

OFFICIAL REPORT

BREAKING NEWS

CONFIRMED REAL

White House Website Hacked by "Chill Guy" in Bedroom

Sources confirm that immediately after the Senate confirmed Ethan Klein as Chief Technology Officer, the White House firewall collapsed, broadcasting a random petroleum engineer talking about stocks.

"I definitely would have dressed differently if I knew I was addressing the nation."
- Matt (Shadow President)

> SYSTEM_STATUS: COMPROMISED
> SUSPECT: @RealMattMoney
> ACCOMPLICE: Ethan Klein (CTO)
> MARKET_REACTION: PUMPING

FIG A: THE INCIDENT

<HALL_OF_FAME />

This is hilarious, the whitehouse made an accident and put this guy on their website.
This is going viral on X with people joking about it and making memes of his face.
This is surely a megarunner, way better than any gov meme we had so far.
Check it out: https://t.co/LL3hyZXDJ4 https://t.co/Yk2VHxwXYk
— GOKU (@songoku53251) December 20, 2025

bought the dip on $REALMATT at 15k

HoX484Uk5y58cUGmMbQndpWsmHGQcyLkjFfez5xWAeVR

How tf is this not at 500k+ pic.twitter.com/ttfp5V8OgG
— homeless person (@wenxora) December 20, 2025

OFFICIAL REPORT

White House Website Hacked by "Chill Guy" in Bedroom

<HALL_OF_FAME />

<MARKET_IMPACT />